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Tips on planning a holiday for parents of autistic children
It’s that time of year when many families will be looking forward to their annual summer holiday with all of the excitement and expectation that brings. However, exciting as it may be to plan a holiday, there are likely to be a number of extra things to consider with regard to the journey and holiday destination when one or more of your children are autistic.
A holiday, by definition, is a break from the normal family routine and environment, and planning a holiday is rarely a stress-free experience. For autistic children who may be very resistant to change, this stress can seem unbearable. However, with extra care and attention and plenty of forward planning, the autistic child can be prepared for these changes and be supported throughout the journey and at the holiday destination.
Here are a few of my tips for parents to support their autistic child:
Choosing your holiday
Choosing a family holiday can be an expensive and complex process. The parent needs to consider whether to holiday at home or abroad, the destination, type of accommodation and facilities.
In many instances, a “trial run,” particularly regarding transport, can help to influence the decision as to whether to holiday at home or abroad. If your autistic child has never flown abroad or been on holiday abroad, it may be wise to take him or her on a short flight in-country beforehand to help to acclimatise to the processes involved, from the hectic and crowded nature of the airport environment through to a brief experience of being in flight. It could be a very short holiday, or a very traumatic start to a holiday abroad, if your child has a major meltdown at an airport or on an aircraft, having never been exposed to the experience before. If considering travelling to your holiday destination or the airport via railway, likewise a desensitising exploratory train trip might also be a useful tool in helping to identify probable stressors and triggers to behaviour.
In planning a holiday abroad, it may also be worth considering the stressful impact of flight delays and long waiting times at airports. More on this a little later.
I am not going to insult the reader’s intelligence by stating which holiday destination is best for an autistic child. Every autistic child is a unique individual, and some are less resistant to change than others, whilst for some going on holiday is a major cause of stress and heightened anxiety. What might be an ideal destination for one child, could be an unmitigated disaster for another. Therefore , when it comes to choosing your holiday destination, be guided by your knowledge of your own child and his or her individual needs. Whatever destination you might consider, it is important that you check this out thoroughly to be sure it is going to be right for your autistic child.
Seeking recommendations from friends and family, and other parents of autistic children can be very beneficial in helping to work out the pros and cons of possible destinations, but ultimately you are the expert when it comes to understanding your child’s needs.
Whatever you decide, it is a good idea to do your research before making securing a deposit or making a final decision. Here the internet can be a very valuable tool. Not only does the internet help by giving images of the destination, and places of interest nearby, it can also help you to decide on the type of accommodation that might be more commensurate with your child’s needs and provides some details about the facilities provided and whether the staff have an understanding of autism, or disabilities in general.
When it comes to choosing type of accommodation, points to consider could whether a self -contained unit such as a chalet, cottage, villa or caravan might be preferable than a busy hotel complex. Whatever accommodation you choose, think about your child’s sensory needs. Think about anything specific that might may heighten your child’s anxiety such as noise, crowds and too much visual sensory input. For example, is there a quieter area of the hotel or complex that you can book? Can they accommodate if your child has a restrictive diet, are children’s activities accessible or appropriate for your child’s specific needs? Are they strictly age-specific, or is there some flexibility in adapting to the individual needs of your autistic child.
In the UK, the National Autistic Society’s “Autism Services Directory” lists holiday venues in the UK and abroad which have stated that they are suitable for autistic people. Whilst this directory is not an endorsement of these venues, it can be a useful starting point for your search. It also gives information on a small number of organisations, such as The Family Fund who may be are able to provide funding. I have used the Family Fund in the past for my family and it has been a great help in contributing towards holiday costs, when you have an autistic or disabled child in your family and you are on a tight budget.
Once your child is old enough, try to involve them in choosing and planning the holiday. Some autistic children can find the mere mention of going on holiday to be a frightening prospect. By gradually involving your child in decisions may help to eliminate some of the anxieties around going on holiday but try not to overload with too much information or too many choices. Here again, use of photos from the internet may help in relieving anxiety about the destination and facilities.
Customising your holiday and making reasonable adjustments
It is always advisable to let the holiday company know your requirements at the time of booking, and review these in the days or weeks immediately prior to the commencement of your holiday in case your child’s needs have changed and to allow sufficient time for making reasonable adjustments.
Special requirements could include:
• a need to have accommodation in a quieter area of the holiday complex
• a need to sit in a certain area at mealtimes (e.g. quiet corner) or a particular seat on transport (e.g. window or aisle seat)
• making reasonable adjustments for restrictive diets
• medications (safe places to store)
• other sensory considerations, such as wearing ear defenders, sensory “fiddle” or “chew” toys
• provision or permitting comfort items to reduce stress and anxiety
Any reasonable adjustments that you feel may benefit your autistic child must be detailed and confirmed in writing, even if they have been verbally agreed, with a copy brought along with you on your holiday.
The Importance of Preparation
Whilst every autistic child is unique, preparation for change is very important. Many autistic children find change of routine very difficult, especially such a big change such as a holiday with so many unknowns and uncertainties. These changes may lead to heightened anxiety, meltdowns or distressed behaviour. Talking about a holiday too soon can in itself cause anxieties for some children, or, for some older children or young adults, they may find being involved in the decision making around the choice of holiday too complex.
However, once your holiday has been booked and confirmed, it may be a good idea to start telling your child. How soon, and with how much information, will depend on the individual child, but you are the expert on your own child and may know from experience what time would be most appropriate. Personally, I would be inclined to concentrate on the destination first and drip-feed additional information in the weeks and months immediately preceding the holiday, so as to gradually introduce the planned change over a period of time.
Here are some tips that might help:
• Gradually introduce your child to the holiday, by viewing photos of the destination or complex online or in a holiday brochure.
• Also start researching nearby places of interest with your child
• Involve the whole family in this, after all the needs of your other children must also be considered
• Compile a visual guide or photo booklet to reinforce information about the holiday and help prepare for the transition
• Consider a daily visual countdown calendar of how many days to holiday
• In the last few weeks before the holiday, prepare a holiday schedule of activities, taking into account any preferred interests. Try to limit this to no more than a couple of activities per day to allow for flexibility and some “choice” time
• Prepare for some possible unavoidable changes (such as travel delays, inclement weather etc). A social story ™ about unplanned change may be a useful tool
Documents
In the UK, many tourist attractions will offer autistic or disabled customers a reduced entry fee, a carer free entrance, or can arrange special access to facilities. Many also provide passes to some activities to reduce queuing and waiting times. This may include permission to stand outside the exit to an activity, rather than queuing at the entrance.
In order to access these special offers or facilities, you will need to provide written evidence of your child’s autism or that you are a carer. In the UK this could include proof of receipt of Disability Living Allowance, Personal Independence Payments or Carer’s Allowance. Some facilities also accept a Carer’s Card (especially cinemas), which allows the carer free entry when accompanied by their autistic or disabled child.
It may also be useful to have a copy of a doctor’s letter confirming diagnosis. It is also a good idea to have a “Hospital Passport” outlining your child’s recent medical history and how their autism affects them. These can be essential in reducing your child’s distress if they were to fall in whilst on holiday. These can be downloaded from the National Autistic Society (NAS) website www.autism.org.uk.
Passports & Insurance
In the UK all children up to the age of 15 years must have their own passports and from 16 years onwards, they are eligible for the standard 10-year passport. More information on applying for a UK passport can be found at www.gov.uk/passports .
Whatever holiday you book, it is always advisable to buy travel insurance. This can offer protection for trip cancellations even if not holidaying abroad. When travelling abroad, travel insurance is essential, especially to cover missed transport or delayed departure, medical or other emergencies, lost, stolen or damaged items, including baggage, passports and money and protect you against any accidental damage to property or persons by you.
Always make sure that your travel insurance meets your autistic child’s needs. Whilst autism is not a medical illness, it falls under the banner of pre-existing medical conditions, and must be declared on your travel insurance forms. However, some travel insurance policies may exclude pre-existing conditions from cover. As autism is covered under disability discrimination legislation, it is illegal in the UK for insurers to refuse you cover. However, they may impose certain conditions on your policy and/or charge you more. If you are resident in the UK, I recommend AllClear Travel Insurance, as they specialise in insurance for pre-existing conditions and long-term disabilities. They can be found at www.allcleartravel.co.uk .
Autism alert cards and more!
I would personally recommend that all parents of an autistic child carry an autism alert card. This card is free to download from the NAS from their website. It is a great way for you to let people know that your child is autistic and might need some extra time or help in certain situations. The alert card may contain the following wording or similar: “My son is on the autism spectrum/He is autistic. Please show some understanding’ or ‘This person is autistic. Autism is a disability. Please be patient.”
Another essential item, especially in this post-COVID world, is the Sunflower Lanyard. This lanyard scheme was first adopted by Gatwick Airport in May 2016, and now operates throughout many of the UK’s busiest airports and beyond. Many airports have now recognised their environment may not be well suited to everyone, and those with hidden disabilities like autism, may benefit from some extra support. Some airports such as Newcastle International Airport, have their own “passport” (like the earlier mentioned Hospital Passport), which can be printed from home. This provides additional information to staff and security personnel, to be more responsive to individual needs.
Manchester airport even have their own Sunflower Room in Terminal 1, to provide a break from the crowds. Noise, bright lights and the hustle and bustle.
If travelling abroad, it is worth checking out your airport’s website as these may have similar or additional facilities as above.
In addition, some sunflower lanyards state that the wearer has an “invisible disability (which) means that (I am) unable to wear a face covering.” This can be very useful if your autistic child has sensory difficulties around mask wearing, when there are COVID restrictions in place. These can easily be obtained from https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com.
Getting help at the airport
Speak to your airline to discuss your specific check-in requirements. Many airlines are very accommodating and may be able to arrange an alternative check-in time or provide a quieter waiting area. They may also let you board first or last to reduce your child’s anxiety.
There can be a lot of long waiting around at airports, and there is always the likelihood of unexpected delays, too. It is very prudent to take anything in your hand luggage or child’s backpack that is likely to make your child’s journey more comfortable. This could include ear defenders, headphones (to listen to music), tablet or smart phone, books, toys and comforters such as pillows, blanket or cuddly toy.
In addition to the airports already mentioned, London Gatwick offers an autism friendly visual guide and Edinburgh offers guidance on travelling with additional needs or hidden disabilities.
Travelling by train or boat
This can be a less stressful experience, but again, it is important to bring items to distract , relax and occupy your child’s attention throughout the journey. Many train stations and ferry ports also offer assistance for autistic travellers.
Again, it could be advisable to contact the station or port beforehand, to enquire what support they can offer. National Rail also have information for disabled passengers.
Tips at your destination
· Visiting attractions- Plan ahead, contact attractions to enquire the support that is available for autistic people. Many destinations will be happy to accommodate (after all there are a lot of autistic children!).
· Eating out-Think ahead, book restaurants in advance to guarantee seating and to select a quieter area of the restaurant, mention specific dietary or sensory requirements, consider a social story to prepare child beforehand
· Disabled toilets-If holidaying in the UK, consider purchasing a Radar Key
Conclusion
Planning and going on holiday, whilst exciting, can be stressful occasions, especially where there are autistic children involved. New faces, new places and a significant change of routine (and possibly climate or language differences) can all cause heightened anxiety. Even with meticulous planning, there are likely to be some unexpected stresses and hurdles along the way.
However, being the parent of an autistic child should not prevent the prospect or reality of a holiday. I hope that these tips help you to turn your holiday dreams into reality and lessen the possibility of experiencing a holiday nightmare.
If you need further tips, advice or guidance, please leave a comment or contact me via my website https://wired4autism.co.uk.
Happy Holiday !
