Autistic Meltdowns are NOT the same as tantrums!!

I found this in my social media feed, from an autism page , and found it very disturbing as an autistic, a parent of autistic children and as an autistic professional.

Whilst I can fully empathise with experiencing physically challenging behaviours from an autistic daughter or son (I have been there!!), the parent’s response here (although borne out of desperation) is NOT acceptable!

“She does not stop with the tantrums. Past 6 weeks or so, easily 15 episodes and more in a day.

She’s been a shouter since birth. It calmed down to a degree, but the last while its becoming unbearable for us. Its not a meltdown, because sometimes she snaps out of it when we give her a smack on her bottom (she wears diapers) when anything frustrates her, upsets her, not get her way, say the wrong thing, ask the wrong question, she bursts out with shouting and biting her fingers, and bounces up and down vigorously. I’m nervous she falls out her hammock or wheelchair when she carries on like this. Sometimes she will be on my lap, and suddenly starts shouting and biting her fingers with what seems to be out of frustration.

She is 8 years old, severe, non verbal. She’s not very mobile, as in it is nearly as tiring as it would be if she had no legs. She walks very poorly, and cant do much that needs leg strength, on her own.

We are lost when it comes to her behaviour ! ”

All behaviour is communication. As this child is described as “severe and non-verbal,” her default way to communicate misunderstanding, confusion, sensory overload, pain, feeling unwell, anxious or distressed, may be through these “socially inappropriate challenging behaviours.”

This child’s behaviour may temporarily improve (for a few moments only) through the use of physical chastisement , but all this will achieve is temporary respite in substituting her frustration into a pain response. And as she most likely lacks the capacity to fully understand the reasons for her being “smacked,” this may only seek to reinforce to her that physical behaviours are acceptable, leading to even more behaviours of concern.

In my opinion, a better response might be to visit a doctor to check her physical health, an individual autistic needs assessment, a sensory needs assessment and input from speech and language therapy.

I would appreciate your comments below .